To View or Not to View ~~ The Dating Files

I needed a distraction, so I joined an online dating site.  *sigh*

While I don’t enjoy trying to meet people with a few pictures and 2500 words or less, I am starting to find some humor in it.  Take screen names for example, a relatively simple thing.  You pick a name, add some numbers if it’s taken or pick something else.  I picked a variation of an old nickname and have been accused by one profile viewer of intentionally posing as a Native American to make myself seem more exotic.  That’s been keeping me up at night, sooo I started making some notes of my first impressions of the screen names chosen by the single, forty something males who have viewed my profile.  Good times.

Trust Me – Nope, no chance of that now. The skeletons in your closet are all the same age range, height and weight.  Their hair was probably the same color as mine.  You probably still wear their shoes.  I’m going to say…nope.

321Kaboom – Is he going to want my address so he can send me a package?    I’m afraid to look…*stands behind a wall of nope.*

SugarBear – seriously, WTF? I. Just. Can’t.  But I do want a bowl of Super Sugar Crisp now.  All I have is nope.

MerrilyFriendly – merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, WTF?, nope.

SecretlyEnergetic – It’s not a secret anymore…it’s marathon of nope.

SmoothDancer – Anyone else singing Smooth Operator in their head?  Nope.

FordCars – SALESMAN.  Nope.

PastModel –  I’m singing Smooth Operator in my head again.    I HAD to look at this one.  He reminded me just a bit of a clean cut Robert Plant, and now I’m singing Whole Lotta Nope.

THEGOOD1SRFARAWAY – stop screaming and get trucking.  There is too much nope between us.

Swamp Tromper – what does one wear to an evening of tromping in a swamp?  They wear nope.

TotallyBrave – like, totally, man.  I’m going out brave you, so, nope.

OnePlusOneEqualsOne – does any smart girl want to date a guy that sucks at math?  Nope.

Imadork –  I need wine.  And some nope and crackers.

Realman4u – Is he real, or is he Memorex?  Or is he Nope?

SeriousOnlyApply – fill out this application and have seat in the lobby.  Who’s got time to be serious?  Nope.

Ohnonotyouagain – well, nope, sure isn’t.

LoveIndependents – someone is sick of paying for dates or he’s being political or he can’t spell, either way, nope.

WickedRomantic59 – Wicked big pile of nope.

energizer –  I can’t look at his picture without imagining him in a bunny suit.  And now I am thinking about Easter.  I want chocolate.  Nope.

CrazyCuddly – so, you’ll be snuggling my corpse?  Cuddle up to some warm, inviting nope.

MA THE MEATLOAF – alright, I laugh every time this guy turns up in my ‘viewed me’ list.  Cheers to you for screaming when it’s appropriate and having a sense of humor.

 

Runs With Scissors

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