My dishwasher backwash line will just start overflowing on the counter out of the blue; despite the fact my kitchen drain is always clear.  The mend is simple, at least in theory.  Loosen the hose clamp, remove the hose, clear the blockage and replace everything, right?  Except the fucking hose is so ‘on’ the pvc and so supremely inflexible, near hulk like strength is required to remove it once the clamp is loose.  *reaches for the spinach and sighs* After ten minutes of swatting at Homer as he tries to investigate the open cabinet and making the ‘shit of the century’ face while wrestling the hose off the pipe on one meager cup of coffee and no breakfast, I find, per fucking usual, there really is no blockage.  I stab around with my screwdriver, scrape the insides of the hose and the pipe, and replace the hose and NO MORE LEAKING.

What is this trickery, you ask? So what exactly is the problem?  I don’t know.  I imagine a thin bubble of scum over the opening of this hose, built over time by the last bit of wet cat food gravy rinsed out of the empty can, a drop or two of grease left behind by Sunday’s bacon, the backwash of the half and half that is too sour to use, all woven into a few strands of my hair like a white trash dream catcher waiting to be stabbed from existence by Early Morning Angry Alison wielding a screwdriver.  I can think of no other explanation.  Add this to the list of puzzling home owner WTF’s.

 Life 1

Alison 1

I am calling this repetitive incident a tie only because the confounded hose is so hard to remove I will use towels to sop up the water for at least two weeks before breaking down and handling the problem.