The Cold, Grey Suck ~ A Letter to the Weathitor.

It’ll be a blizzard, nope all rain storm, oh no, it’s a rain storm with winter weather and snow on the backside.  Tornado, anyone want to take tornado?   My job would be less stressful if I had this kind of room for error.  I’m going over the weatherman’s head.

Dear Mother Nature,


Monday is statement day

I need to get in

Don’t fuck up traffic

And the day is a win.


You fool the forecasters

With your trickery

I have to ask once a month

The joke’s not on me.


Until I find job,

Where I can always be wrong

I need to make it in

The process is three days long


So I hope you can find it

In your cold, winter heart

To let me get to work on time

I have an early start.


Let me get home

I have to work that night too

It’s just a few days

The least you can do


Be the good woman

Behind the good man

Let them be right

Just now and then


It must be exciting

When the models agree

Then you turn on a dime

And we question their fee.


They track the best models

To determine the course

But a dieting woman

Is like an unbroken horse


One minute your up,

The next you are down

Just watch our smiles

Turn into frowns


We want you to be

Steady, predictable

But you hold your course

Often, most unreliable


I hope you can hear

This humble prayer

Just one work week a month

Could you please play fair?





Slides On Ice With Scissors.